Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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