Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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