yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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