do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I AM VODKA MAN
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
