You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
