are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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