he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
how does that bad decision feel?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
