I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
