i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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