Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
