everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
