I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
