Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
