Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
