Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
