Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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