Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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