OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
