Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
