So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Randomize
