I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
