there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
