Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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