does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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