every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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