That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
