an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
