my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
