this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
