could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
