He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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