Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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