The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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