Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
