Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
