i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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