we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
