the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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