I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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