hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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