walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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