were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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