you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
