I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize