11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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