If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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