let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
