Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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