Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
