It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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