we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
