i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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