try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
