from now on my penis is your penis
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
