At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
