Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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