Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i think im in europe. pls send help
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
