I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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