my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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