I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
