when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
