If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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