i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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