Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
