for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
